“Don’t grow up,” you’ll whisper teasingly in his ear. “Stay six forever.” “I have to grow up, Mommy,” he’ll chuckle. “I can’t stop this growing!” Knowing this, you will smush your cheek up against his and inhale the faint baby scent that remains in his hair. You will sing to him at bedtime and tell him you love him so so so very much, and as you do these things, you’ll hear a wistful voice in your head reminding you that he’s the last one, the very last one, and there won’t be another.
When you picture the last one in your mind, he’ll always be running ahead of you and you’ll be trying your best to keep up, your heart bursting with mingled joy and despair. With each day that passes, the ribbon of childhood will feel like it’s unwinding too quickly before you and you’ll feel powerless to stop it, and as your youngest child abandons picture books for ones with chapters and leaves home for his first sleepover and demands that the training wheels be removed from his bicycle, you will be struck hard, repeatedly, by the fact that this most amazing time in your life is slipping away from you, bit… by bit… by bit.
The Last One
#the last one
"In this life, people will love you and people will hate you and none of that will have anything to do with YOU."
"The impact of endometriosis is likely to be exacerbated by the absence of an obvious cause and the likelihood of chronic, recurring symptoms… Endometriosis has a significant social and psychological impact on the lives of women across several domains… Furthermore, there is an urgent need to develop and evaluate interventions for supporting women and partners living with this chronic and often debilitating condition."
Hi I just found your blog + its been so helpful and uplifting Im going in for an appt in march to have a pelvic exam + ultrasound done before setting up a laparoscopy Im really worried about having endometriosis Ive had a gut feeling for about a year that I have it + my doctor telling me 2 months ago that its a possibility made me even more sure Im so scared of the intensity it could be at + if its blocking my tubes or damaged my ovaries Im only 17 Iwant to have kids one day Im so stressed + mad
Hello, aw so glad this blog has helped you and uplifted you. I was diagnosed at your age so it is all so familiar. This disease is difficult and especially at your age it is hard to even grasp. You are extremely strong and smart for taking the steps in the right direction to get this all figured out. I truly hope you do not have Endo, either way I am here is you need someone to talk to. There are lots of Endo support groups as well. A very loving group who understands what others can’t understand.
Endo suffers have their bodies working against them. You have a right to feel that way… it’s natural. With Endo, Doctors will help you decide best treatments… probably with BC medications since you are so young. Always get second (and third and sometimes fourth) opinions before making decisions. When it comes to children I know it can be such an intense feeling of despair and loss. As of right now my personal route if Steve and I decide to have a child would be having my sister in-law as a surrogate mother. There are many children waiting to be adopted. Pregnancy may still even be an option. There is always hope. There is always a chance. When one door closes another will open. I hope everything works out best in your favor lovely and wishing you pain free days! <3
This is my healthy, nutrient rich, truly tasty Green Smoothie.
Blend together: 1 Banana, 1 cup mango, 1 cup pineapple, 2 handfuls of baby spinach (or alternative is kale), 1 cup blueberries, 1 cup green melon. Add 2 teaspoons of ground ginger.
Depending how thick you want the smoothie you may add the fruit as frozen for thick or refrigerated for thin. You may also add skim or soy milk (or water if you really want to be healthy!)
The Banana helps with immune function, and help the body metabolize protein. They offer healthy carbs which give energy to be more active and feel great. It is also high in the mineral potassium which helps to lower blood pressure. The Mango is the king of fruits and my absolute favorite fruit… it is high in antioxidants, full of vitamins, and boosts the digestive function of the body by burning additional calories ultimately helping with weight loss. The Pineapple must be chosen in moderation due to the high acid content to your mouth and teeth, though it aids in digestion and act as an anti-inflammatory agent. The Baby Spinach should NOT be frozen for it will lose health benefits and being cooked increases the benefits… the glycoglycerolipids from spinach can help protect the lining of the digestive tract from damage — especially damage related to unwanted inflammation. The Kale is rich in chlorophyll, vitamin C K and A, iron, calcium, amino acids, flavonoids, and carotenoids that remove toxins, fight inflammation, and provide the body with important nutrients for rejuvenation and healing. The Blueberries contain a group of antioxidants that are essential for protecting the body from free radical damage that causes buildup of toxins and oxidative stress. The Honeydew (Green) Melon is beneficial because it provides vitamins and minerals in a sweet-tasting low-calorie package. It is high in potassium which is essential to nerve and muscle function and promotes healthy blood pressure levels and a potassium-rich diet is associated with a decreased risk of hypertension. The Ginger is an herb that is used as a spice and also for its therapeutic qualities. It is widely used throughout the world for treating loss of appetite, nausea and vomiting after surgery, nausea resulting from caner and disease treatments, flatulence, upset stomach, and helps kicks sickness.
Here is a staging system developed by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (formerly American Fertility Society).
Stage Level of severity
Stage I Minimal
Stage II Mild
Stage III Moderate
Stage IV Severe
The stage of endometriosis is based on the location, amount, depth, and size of the endometrial implants. Specific criteria include:
The extent of the spread of the implants
The involvement of pelvic structures in the disease
The extent of pelvic adhesion
The blockage of the fallopian tubes
The stage of the endometriosis does not necessarily reflect the level of pain experienced, risk of infertility, or symptoms present. For example, it is possible for a woman in Stage I to be in tremendous pain, while a woman in Stage IV may be asymptomatic. In addition, women who receive treatment during the first two stages of the disease have the greatest chance of regaining their ability to become pregnant following treatment.
Papaya Pineapple Smoothie
1/4 C. Pineapple
1/4 C. Papaya
1/4 C. Mango
2 scoops whey protein powder
1 T. chia seeds
1 T. Coconut flakes (dried)
1.4 C. -3/4 C. water or juice of choice
Blend and enjoy!
- The pineapple and papaya in this smoothie are anti-inflammatory and the naturally occurring protein digesting enzymes may help the body to dissolve abnormal tissues. You can usually find the pineapple, papaya, and mango frozen if you can’t get it fresh.
- The chia seeds and coconut flakes serve as extra fiber to help remove excess estrogen from the body as well as providing essential fatty acids
*Something Interesting for women with infertility*
Bee Propolis – In a recent study, women with endometriosis have a 60% greater chance of getting pregnant than the women who take nothing. Suggested usage is 500 mg twice a day of bee propolis.
Add 1/4 tsp. Bee Propolis (equivalent to 500mg) to smoothie if desired.
Lemon Roast Chicken
What You Will Need
- Chicken breasts and legs ( to serve 4 people)
- 2 lemons, washed and cut in 1/4 inch slices
- a handful of fresh thyme sprigs
- salt and fresh ground black pepper
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup white wine
- 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
- 2 Tbsp Dijon mustard
- 2 Tbsp brown sugar
- Set oven to 475F
- Whisk together the sauce ingredients and set aside.
- Sprinkle the chicken pieces liberally with salt and plenty of pepper.
- Line a baking sheet completely with foil or parchment paper and lay the chicken out, along with the sliced lemon and some of the fresh thyme. Make sure your pan is big enough so you don’t crowd the chicken.
- Pour most of the sauce evenly over the chicken pieces, reserving a little for basting later.
- Bake the chicken for about 35-45 minutes until golden and crisp on the outside. Baste the chicken with a little of the reserved sauce about 5 or 10 minutes before it is done.
- Serve hot with the lemon slices on the side.
Be sure your oven is nice and hot so the chicken and lemons can get beautifully crisped, and even a little bit singed. Some times I like to replace the lemons with oranges… either way recipe is delicious.
Due to Endometriosis, my diet does not contain red meat. Lots of chicken and fish for protein. I absolutely LOVE this recipe :) Enjoy endo sisters.
#how it feels
Lately I keep saying the wrong things. Thinking the wrong thoughts. It’s easy for me to do the wrong things. Or simply just mess up random things a lot. It’s not me. It’s not how I used to be.
Sometimes I can feel the frustration and anger the disease causes for those around me… Family, work, what little friends there are left. Medication either helps or makes it worse, there seems to be no in between. It is all so emotional and stressful.
I am a photographer. I love art and this is a self portrait. Endometriosis. This is what this image represents. It speaks for itself how self destructing this disease can be. Weakest moment or not.
Endometriosis is a terrible thing and the symptoms are unreal. I find myself praying for the symptoms rather than the cure sometimes. All that’s left to do is fight through it and stick to what I have learned. This is why I beg silently and out loud for people not to give up on me. To not get tired or angry with me… Because it’s simply not me. One day things will be better.